If someone were to randomly ask me.... "Missy... what brings you joy?" I may respond with.... taking a long hot bath without interruption..... getting to sleep in on a rainy morning..... a warm cup of coffee in the dark and silent morning hours...... taking a solo shopping trip while taking my time scouring the isles for deals and treasures..... OR finding a great deal! I might even say.... having a day when my children are well behaved and respectful..... or a day when I take them somewhere and they act appropriately.
Although... all of those are wonderful answers... and do in fact bring me joy.... there is something that now bothers me about these responses.... that hadn't previously. Joy.... what brings me joy?????
God revealed to me through a speaker at the conference.... that the very thing... that He has called me to do daily..... the very thing.... that He gave me as a gift and a blessing.... the very thing that I put nearly all of my energy and time into doing.... is barely mentioned in my list of joyful things...... motherhood.
In fact... nearly all my answers are instances where I am trying to "escape" and get away from the duties of motherhood. AND... when I do mention my children.... the joy that they bring me.... comes under certain conditions..... good behavior.... being respectful... listening to directives. This my fellow mothers/ fathers... should not be. Here is a psalm Vickie Bentley, the speaker, shared with us that truly touched my heart....
Psalm 113
4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.
5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?
7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
8 he seats them with princes,
with the princes of his people.
9 He settles the childless woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
This scripture was extremely convicting for me. He settles the childless woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the Lord. Pslam 113:9 The joy of being a mother is compared to raising the poor from dust and seating them with princes. So... in essence... taking a poverty stricken person and raising them up to live as royalty. This is the joy that I am to feel daily as a mother. I am to delight in my children.... not just go through the motions.
When I lay my head to bed each night.... what often runs through my mind is.... fed them CHECK, washed their clothes CHECK, cleaned their potty of the toilet seats CHECK, bathed them CHECK, managed to get through the day without a major injury CHECK, took them to the park/ pool CHECK, tucked them in and told them I loved them CHECK! Ahhhhh... a successful day... good night! BUT... was it really????
How many times did I want to lose it with my children that day??? How many times did I cringe as one more child yelled... MOOOOOMMM???? How much empathy did I have to give my daughter after the 3rd time she had a minor injury???? How many times did I tell myself.... " I need a break!!!" And then the million dollar question.... "did I delight in my children today??" "was I a joyful mother to my children today.... or did I simply do my duties and go through the motions?"
"Did I stop and give them spontaneous hugs?" "Did I truly feel joy toward them... or did I have to force it most of the day?" "Did I run in anticipation and excitement when they told me to hurry... they have something neat to show me?" OR.... "did I say in irriatation... "just a minute!!!" Sadly.... I feel I often just go through the motions and react with little joy.... too often.
This is Satan's magic tool in taking the joy out of parenthood for all parents.... make it feel like a burden not a blessing... make it seem like a duty... not a pleasure.... make the tasks of parenting so mundane and automatic.... that they become just that.... tasks.... rather than joys and privileges.
Parents... I am here to share with you... that parenthood WAS and still IS meant to be a joy and a blessing. Sure... we all say... "my children are truly a blessing from God!" BUT... do we really feel that way???? Does our heart truly comprehend.... that aside from the gift of salvation God offers through Jesus.... children.... are one of God's greatest gifts.
The other night... I had a HORRIBLE nightmare... that my car was sinking in a lake and I was frantically looking for my children through the murkiness of the water. I could not see them... I could not find them... and I began to realize that they had gone under with my car. The despair... the hopelessness I felt seemed so real.... it was awful. Being forced to spend the rest of my life without one of my children would be the most unbearable pain.... I believe I could ever endure... to the point that I often will not even let my mind go there. I challenge myself to remember this horrible and hopeless feeling.... as I begin to struggle with my loss of parenting joy!
I will continue on The Journey to Joyful Motherhood post tomorrow... as I will share practical and simple ways to keep that joy overflowing in your life! But for today... I leave you with this saying that hangs on a plaque in my upstairs hallway.....
I count is a privilege to kiss my children goodnight at the close of each day..... author unknownIf I consider it anything less than a privilege and a blessing..... I am in fact... failing... as a mother....
Peace and Blessings
Your Friend in Christ
Missy
